we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
