Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I did not marry a roomba.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
