My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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