u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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