I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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