I've blown a few things in my day
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
