wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
