Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
