its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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