these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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