I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
