Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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