in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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