absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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