Will you blow on my dice?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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