he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
