dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
