Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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