You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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