I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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