Christians are straight up FREAKS
What a fucking waste of an outfit
My liver just broke up with me...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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