considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
