dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
