so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
