yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need water and some morals
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
