I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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