Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize