i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize