Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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