Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize