guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
