Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
