You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
