i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
