So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
