ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
