And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
