You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
