Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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