hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
