Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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