Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
