You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
