you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
