i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
