You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize