He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Randomize
