grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize