I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
A bitchslap is in order.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
