Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
