come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
