My balls are so social today.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Randomize
