Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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