Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
