New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize