apparently the secret to your success is patron
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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