"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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